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Water Cooler Dos and Don'ts

The Office Water Cooler • May 21, 2021

Remembering Your Water Cooler Etiquette

First of all, welcome back to the office! It’s been a long, lonely year for me, but it’s great to see you all again. I’m sure it’s tough for you to be back at the office every day, after working from home in your pajamas for the last year. You probably didn’t even think of me once in the past year. When you were thirsty at home, you could easily get water from your faucet or the Brita pitcher in your refrigerator. But now that you’re back in the office, I’m happy to be your go-to source for hydration. That’s what I’m here for. After the long year away from me, I suspect that you might need to relearn the basics of water cooler etiquette, so I made a list of a few dos and don’ts to help you out.

1. Make Small Talk
It’s been a long time since you’ve had face-to-face interactions with your coworkers, so it might be helpful to brush up on the fine art of making small talk. When you come to me for a drink of water, there’s a good chance you might bump into a coworker or two while you’re here. In all of my years of experience as your office water cooler, I’ve learned that the social etiquette in this situation calls for making a couple minutes of small talk. This includes, but is certainly not limited to, talking about projects that you’re working on, TV shows you’ve been bingeing, activities from the weekend, or any common interest that you might have. If it helps, think of it like the first few minutes of a Zoom meeting, when the meeting hasn’t officially started, but you feel like you have to say something to make sure your that your microphone is on and your internet connection is working. Only this time, you won’t be talking to a face on your laptop screen; you’ll be talking to a living, breathing person. Business experts argue that water cooler chat is an important factor for building a company culture. In order for workers to have a feeling that they are part of a group working towards a common goal or greater good, they need to enjoy their time at work and have a sense of empowerment and support, and what better place than the water cooler to begin bonding with your coworkers?

2. Don’t Get Too Personal
While small talk is great when you’re here to parch your thirst, I strongly recommend avoiding topics that are too personal, controversial, or inappropriate for work. It’s not the right time or place to get into a political debate, and it could be distracting during work hours. That’s what happy hour after work is for. That’s not to say you shouldn’t share your interests or what’s going on in your life, but it’s just generally good social etiquette to avoid talking about anything that could make another coworker uncomfortable or upset.

3. Wait Your Turn 
Like I’ve said, if you come to me for a drink of water, there’s a good chance some of your coworkers had the same thing in mind. If there are multiple people waiting to get water, the best and easiest thing you can do is form an orderly line. My policy for dispensing water is first come, first served. If the line for water is longer than usual, it’s important to have patience. I know when you were working from home for the last year, there was never a line to use the Brita pitcher, so this is just something that you’re going to have to get used to again. I promise the wait will be worth it once you have a cool drink of water in your hand. 

4. Stay Hydrated!
As a humble water cooler, I’m going to have to defer to the advice of medical experts on this issue. Researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health say that proper hydration is important for a number of reasons, including “to regulate body temperature, keep joints lubricated, prevent infections, deliver nutrients to cells, and keep organs functioning properly.” Staying well-hydrated also improves sleep quality, mental cognition, and mood stability. But what’s the right amount of water to drink per day? Well, you will likely get a different answer depending on who you ask. Is it eight cups a day? Ten cups? Sixteen? It turns out, there’s no precise amount of daily water intake that’s fit for everyone. The best advice is to simply drink it when you feel thirsty. While you’re working at the office, it’s important to stay in-tune with your own body and maintain awareness of how it’s feeling. If your back hurts, get up and walk for a bit to stretch it out, and if you’re thirsty, pay me a visit. I’m more than happy to quench your thirst. 

5. Don’t Leave a Mess
Keeping a clean water cooler station is a simple courtesy to extend to your coworkers. First and foremost, if there are any spills near me, make sure to clean them up, as they might be a safety hazard to your coworkers. I’d clean the spills myself if I had hands to do so, but alas I am just a tank of water and a spigot. I need your help to make sure people don’t slip on water and fall. Another key to keeping my area clean is making sure that those little paper cups or weird paper cone things end up in a waste basket. No one wants to see a bunch of trash all over the floor when they go for a drink of water. Keeping your workplace clean and tidy is important to making sure everyone feels comfortable at work. If you’re going to be here 9 to 5, Monday through Friday, then you should be sure to take care of this space.

6. Wash Your Hands, Please
If there’s one thing we’ve all become hyper-aware of during the past year, it’s the ways in which germs and viruses spread from person to person. Frequently-touched surfaces are a common source of contagion. Let’s say one coworker has a cold and touches their face, and then they go for a drink of water and touch my spigot without washing their hands. Now there’s germs all over me, and next thing you know, another coworker touches my spigot without knowing. They’ve become susceptible to infection and possibly spreading the cold to the rest of the office. Do you see how important proper cleanliness and hygiene is? The solution here is very simple. Wash your hands before getting a drink of water from me. Maybe put a bottle of hand sanitizer near me and put up a sign encouraging everyone to clean their hands before getting water. It’s the least you can do to keep everyone happy and healthy.

7. Don’t Put Your Mouth on the Spigot
I feel like this should go without saying, but while we’re on the topic of sanitation, please do not ever put your mouth on my water dispenser. I probably should have put this first on this list because it is my most important rule. I would really prefer that we keep our relationship strictly professional, and putting your mouth on my spigot is far too intimate for me. Not to mention it’s incredibly unsanitary, putting the health of your coworkers at risk. It wasn’t okay to put your mouth on the water fountain when you were in school, and it’s still not okay to put your mouth on the water cooler as an adult. 

8. Stay Stocked-Up
One of the best ways to make sure that the water cooler station says clean and organized is making sure that you are properly stocked on paper cups/cones, paper towels for spills, hand sanitizer, disinfecting wipes, and any other necessary necessary supplies. Keeping all of these supplies in-stock and having a proper storage system for them is key to maintaining a clean water cooler station. If you notice any of these supplies are running low or have run out entirely, make sure to notify your office or building manager.

9. Don’t Wash Things With Me
Please remember that I am not a sink. You shouldn’t use me to wash your hands or to wash the weird orange stains out of your tupperware container. You see, I don’t have anywhere to drain that water, and if you use me for anything other than filling a cup or bottle with water, you’re sure to make a big mess. So, if you need to wash your hands or clean out a food container, I am unable to help you. You’ll have to go use the bathroom or kitchen sink for such purposes.

10. Replace My Water Tank When It’s Empty 
To make sure everyone is able to get water when they need it, please make sure to check the water level in my tank whenever you get a drink of water from my. If the water level isn’t easily visible, an easy trick is to simply tap the water tank and look for ripples in the water. When the water tank is empty, you should replace it yourself if you’re able to do so, making sure to follow proper instructions for replacing it. However, if you’re unable to do so, you can notify the right person, such as maintenance or the office/building manager. Someone around here should know what they’re doing. I also recommend making sure there is always a back up water tank available for when the current one runs out. If there is not a back up water tank, notify the right person to order a back up.  
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Cold weather is coming! Please store full bottles indoors during winter months, or they may freeze & crack. We cannot give credit for returned damaged bottles. Do NOT place any bottles on your dispenser that have leaked in storage.
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